Day Two & Three

Went to the library and got four thousand books on what to eat when you have cancer. Which I don't, but there were no books called 'What To Eat When You Don't Have Cancer But Would Rather Not Get To That Point, Thanks.' Also got a couple books about life transition and uncertainty. Because I never met a self-help book I didn't like.

I also love working on my diet. I love, love, love it. Nothing makes me feel happier, cleaner and more 'in control' than piling my plate with a rainbow of veggies. Last night's culinary experience? An omelet of Omega-3 eggs, oyster mushrooms and green onions and a salad exploding with Swiss chard, orange peppers, tomatoes and purple cabbage. Meanwhile, Boyfriend scarfed down 'pizza-flavoured' scrambled eggs and chocolate milk. We live on different dietary planets. But we were both grinning like morons as the purple cabbage juice (or spicy Genoa salami juice in his case) dribbled down our chins. So I guess that's good.

This morning was Meditation Day One. Kind of. I practiced yoga six days a week for several years, so I'm no stranger to meditation. It's just that I've been away for awhile. Like a long, long while. I put on my whale sounds CD and set a timer for 20 minutes. Figured I'd start slow. Turns out, twenty minutes feels approximately like seven hours on Day One. I was fidgety after about a minute and a half. Couldn't find my breath at all. Felt like I was breathing through a straw. Which isn't relaxing, incidentally.

And then the phone rang. At seven thirty. Who calls at 7:30 am? Are these the same brand of people that call at 10:30 pm? Who are you? Why are you calling during the No Call Zone? Is it not a universal truth that calling before 8 am (9 would be better) and after 10 pm is just simply not done? To be fair, I think it was one of the perils of moving in with a night person. Everyone knows Boyfriend will be awake at 10:30 pm...or 2:30 am even. But 7:30 am? That's just cruel.

For me, it was Distraction #1295 of 4390. I guess Day One went as well as could be expected. There have been many, many Day Ones. Most times, I never return for Day Two. And sometimes by Day Two I think I'm pretty much a pro, so I try the Advanced Sleeping Meditation. Also known as A Nap.

I don't know why I aspire to be a meditation rock star on Day One. I have a feeling the gurus of the world didn't achieve enlightenment right out of the blocks. Which is what I appear to expect from myself. But I'm not even trying for enlightenment! That's not my goal right at the moment. Just a teeny tiny bit of silence upstairs is all I want. A wee break from the swirling chaos of thoughts and strategy and over-analysis. That's it.

Maybe it's time to bust out some AA slogans: One Day At A Time. Easy Does It. Etc.

Going easy on yourself is important. But so is continuing to make healthy, evolved choices. Over and over again. Rather than falling for the Snooze Button's 9 minutes of paradise. Or the toe-curling desire to order ten pizzas, watch the always-available 'Kitchen Nightmares' re-runs and completely check out of life for six days.