Yesterday, a SUNDAY, I received two of the most ass-kicky rejection emails of my brief but burgeoning literary life. How can a rejection letter be awesome, you might ask? It's relatively common knowledge that if a person is going to receive a rejection letter, 99 times out of a hundred it will be some manner of 'We regret to inform you' cut and paste PFO form letter drivel.
But sometimes, you get a personalized letter. Which counts as awesome. Because it means your writing impacted them enough that they want to say something to you. If you are very unlucky, what they want to say is something like, "This is the worst writing I have ever had the displeasure of wasting moments of my life on. My eyeballs shriveled up and fell out. Thanks a fucking lot. Never submit to us again."
If you are very lucky, you will receive rejection letters like the two I got yesterday. Rejection letters that make you want to keep writing. Rejection letters that actually help you become a better writer.
Awesome Rejection #1 (For a piece called Blackbird Café)
Good morning. Thanks for thinking of [Magazine Name]. This one isn't right for us, but it is swiftly done. I think you will place it quickly. Best wishes.
Awesome Rejection #2 (For Crotch Management)
Hi - I read this one all the way through, which is really a success story in itself (I rarely make it past the first few sentences or a paragraph at most). Your writing is very clear and I liked the sassy, honest-almost to-the-point-of-recklessness tone. Very good. The image of the cellulite pressed up from the tight pants is perfect. I saw all those bikers I see along the river paths in Philly. But then when done, it seemed that I wanted more of a story, like this is the setup for something longer, or just an element among a few others about this biker's life and times? So I'm not going to post this but I'll totally encourage you to write more on this, that is, to extend your ambition another twenty-five feet or so, and in the meantime to send more whenever. Thanks for sending something readable and enjoyable - and again I hope you understand this note as an encouragement more than anything else.
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1 comment:
He's write Mel. I haven't had the chance to read a lot of your stuff yet, but you strike me as the a labial David Sedaris, with a soupcon of Pahlaniuk. (Sorry, that's all that popped up into my head this millisecond I have). You're a snappy, savvy writer, and you have a unique, entertaining way of looking at things, life, then making us laugh while you rip its guts out. Best with the year of being an artist.
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