Friday, May 16, 2008

Jumping off the Cliff

I'm sure you've heard the quote, "Leap and the net will appear." Or maybe this was the first time you've heard it. Delicious, no? A little nervewracking, sure, but what an idea! You fling yourself headlong into your dreams and the universe supports you. God, that kicks ass.

When's the last time you did that?

I do it a lot. People in my world like to refer to me as "impulsive," which could be (and has been) construed as "flaky." But I like to think of it as being intuitive and courageous. And that's how I will continue to think of it. Because when my gut speaks, I listen. Full stop.

And my gut spoke up the other night in the most exciting way.

I went to a screening of Louise Hay's "You Can Heal Your Life" in Cochrane on Wednesday night. A fabulous movie about metaphysical healing and the idea that if you change your thoughts, you can change your life. After the movie, my life coach friend Cathy, who was hosting the screening, got up and fielded questions and discussion.

Then she announced that she and I were going to be running a 12-week group course based on The Artist's Way. You remember...that book that I keep telling you to read? (Subliminal sales pitch: come to our course. Email me: melanie at melaniejones dot ca. Do it.)

Anyhoo. As Cathy announced our intention to run this course, she pointed to me. "Melanie just lived her dream by going to Paris for a month to write a screenplay." There was a collective gasp from the audience. How cool is that? It was quite thrilling. Made it all real.

I can't remember the precise timing of my epiphany. It was either during the movie or during the discussion. But, the instruction was this: do it now. Don't wait. Do it now. Be an artist NOW.

One of the people featured in the film was a doctor who suffered from serious and debilitating migraines. She said that, like most 'migrainous' personalities, she was obsessed by her need to do it right, get it right.

One day, on the verge of failing a university course, she called her parents and said, "I don't want to do this anymore." Her dad said, "So quit! Come home." For whatever reason, that was the key. She realized she didn't have to do anything. There was a way out. She didn't have to get it right and be perfect. Her migraines were cured.

What stuck with me was the sense of relief she had. The release you feel when the 'shoulds' just disappear and you let go of trying to get it right and be something you're not.

My brain has been working overtime trying to tell me that I need to finish my third draft and sell my screenplay before I can be a full time artist. That I have to do freelance copywriting to make money until I sell that screenplay.

What if that's backwards? What if it's just plain wrong?

What if I have to be a full time artist before I can sell my screenplay? What if I have to make that deep energetic commitment before the doors begin to open?

I have been sitting on the fence about being an artist. Believing that I shouldn't quit my day job until my art supports me. Um, how is that mindset supporting my art? That way of thinking keeps my creative work on the back burner. It keeps it playing second fiddle. It keeps it in the space of "later" or "wait until."

If you give the universe a wishy washy vibration, it gives you wishy washy results. Get clear and commit fully...and you get back what you put out.

Dana, in her very polite way, has been trying to tell me this all along. Melanie, she keeps writing, you ALREADY ARE an artist. You're already doing it. She told me last week that maybe I should stop writing about hardwood floors and boutique hotel chains. I totally ignored her. And then a few days later, the universe said it again. Do it. Now. Not later. Now.

Perhaps this time I should listen.

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