Day 139: Creepy Penis Dream and Other Stories

The other night, I had a dream I was acting in a movie. It wasn't a porn, but for some reason my character had to have sex with three different men. I don't know what kind of low-budget crapfest would make their actors actually have sex on screen, but this was one such crapfest.

Guh-ross.

So, the Dream Me high-tails it to the Associate Producer and tells her that under no circumstances am I cool with boffing three random dudes no matter what my contract says. She doesn't see the problem. I draw her a diagram with a pink felt pen (which could be yet-another phallic symbol, now that I think of it). She goes uh-huh, that's great, YOU'RE FIRED.

I walk off, upset and then wake up to a morning full of Dream Hangover Creep so intense it pretty much ruins my day.

My favourite cheesy dream interpretation site tells me that sex in dreams refers to psychological completion and the integration of contrasting aspects of the Self.

Uh. Wha?

Drea, my go-to dream decoder, says it's something about whoring myself out for my creative work. This kind of resonates because I'm feeling a teeeeeny bit guilty about dropping everything I promised to do between Feb 15 and March 15 and pissing off to Paris.

So there's subconscious integration, there's metaphorical prostitution and then there's the WTF dildo rocking chair scene from Burn After Reading – which I watched night before last. You be the judge.