Day 178: Operation Squidlet

Paris, Day 7. After being stared at by dead squid eyes for half an hour of food styling and photography yesterday, my appetite was nowhere to be found. But today, I couldn't avoid the lil' squidies. I mean, I BOUGHT the damn things, now I have to eat them.

Enter Google. Wherein I found a web page entitled How To Prepare Squid. I give you my illustrated version. (VEGETARIANS BEWARE.)

HOW TO PREPARE SQUID
By Melanie 'Squidlicious' Jones

STEP 1:
Rip the little buggers' heads off.
Pull out their (surprisingly silvery) guts and
the clear plastic-looking spine thing.
Place in Bowl Of Gore.

STEP 2:
Sever Sideshow Bob tentacles from googly eyes.
Encounter frightening spiny thing.
Consider aborting mission.

STEP 3:
Make squid water balloons by rinsing out the body pouch.
Dab rinsed squid bits with toilet paper because you have no paper towel.
Chop body pouch into cute little rings.
Avoid looking at Bowl Of Gore.

STEP 4:
Prepare back-up meal.
Select something that doesn't involve eyeballs.

STEP 5:
Gather silver bullet cooking ingredients that
could make fermented monkey brains taste good.

STEP 6:
Melt butter, sautee garlic, begin to pray.

STEP 7:
Moment of truth.
Put squid bits in frying pan.

STEP 8:
Deploy secret weapon.

STEP 9:
Put pink curly squidlets onto contrasting IKEA dishware.
Enjoy!

STEP 10:
Decide that the amount of horror involved in preparing this meal
was in no way proportional to the amount of enjoyment you got out of it.
Decide to become a vegetarian.
Pray those eyes don't haunt your dreams.