Saturday, October 11, 2008

Day 41: Decide There Is A Solution

Things have been hell for my best friend lately. She's exhausted. Depleted. Spent. Empty. Which for a woman this joyful, generous and loving is a very bad place to be.

Her challenges can be broken into two categories: money and philosophy. Money is beyond tight for her and her husband. Last week, they couldn't pay for diapers. This week they can pay for diapers, but every other cent will be going towards business obligations from a past life.

But, my best friend refuses to let financial desperation compromise her beliefs – beliefs which include environmental consciousness, spiritual integrity, responsible health and attentive parenting.

Right now, it feels like a Catch-22: she needs to work, but she's adverse to farming her daughter off to day care. Besides childcare costs $15 an hour – what she makes at her part-time job. It doesn't feel like there is a solution. And the status quo is sucking the life out of her.

If you met this woman, you'd know that's a crime against humanity.

This summer, the Summer of my Discontent, I was trapped in misery. My current situation wasn't working for me, but I couldn't see a way out. I started going under. I was headed for a relapse of depression. Until the day I decided that wasn't an option.

I chose not to get depressed, so I believed there had to be another solution. A solution which didn't involve compromising myself or my beliefs. Committing to my creative work became that solution. How to finance it was the next problem. Again, I decided there had to be a solution. I prayed and affirmed, asking the universe for the exact dollar amount I would need to make this happen. In literally no time, a solution presented itself: sell my car. It was a solution that felt very simple, even easy, and it lined right up with my beliefs.

The answer was there all along, but my habitual way of looking at my life prevented me from seeing it. All I needed was a shift in perception. But I couldn't get that shift until I got very clear and very specific about what I needed. And until I let go of the emotion around the problem and released both my resistance and my need to control.

I believe there is a solution for my friend's dilemma – for any dilemma. The solution is there, waiting for you to stop trying to control the process. Let go of the fear. Decide there is a solution. Ask for exactly what you need. Let it find you.

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