It's Day 50 of my Artist For One Year journey. A.k.a. Just One Year. A.k.a. JOY. It's also Day 20 of the Great Raw Food Experiment. And the day of my follow-up colposcopy test after my cervical surgery did not get clear margins on my pre-cancerous tissue. Today we see if the wee baddies are still lurking.
It's one hell of a Monday.
But I've realized something. My emotional/psychological/spiritual state can't depend on outcomes. I can't be reactionary and blown about by every wind. Because there have been a lot of funky winds these days. Y'know, malignant consumerism, political apathy, financial collapse, things like that. Any sane person would pull up artistic stakes and look for a nice, stable full-time job selling bunkers and start stuffing their dollars under the mattress.
But, that ain't me, babe. So here we are, Day 50. Not being reactionary. Which is why I started the raw food experiment three weeks before my test. Because I know me. And I have a feeling at about noon today, I'm going to stop talking and go into a state of protective silence. And my body is going to become a foreign country for which I don't have the right papers or passport and the customs guys won't speak English out of spite and I'll stand in a lot of line-ups with sweaty B.O. people.
So it will be good to know that the old bod has three weeks of glorious, living food vibrating within it, transforming it, like faith. It's also good to know I have 50 days of creative work under my belt. (More actually, because my unofficial launch of this project was August 1, a month earlier.) Eighty days of creation. That feels good. That makes a person want to keep going.
Even if the world seems like it's falling apart and my body is a foreign country. Maybe this is the antidote to all of that. Maybe creative living, in its most broad and basic definition, is what will carry us through this strange pre-apocalyptic time. Because, have you noticed? The so-called safe-bets aren't safe anymore. The plan didn't work. The American Dream led to financial breakdown. Wonderbread causes cancer. Laundry detergent, hairspray and SUVs are poisoning the earth.
The Way We've Always Done Things isn't working. It's okay. We don't have to cry and scream and panic. We need to be creative now. And smart. We have to think for ourselves, read between the tag lines, create new systems of meaning that may bear no resemblance to the way things were. This is mine: living in the moment as much as possible, writing/creating/imagining every day, eating natural, living food, moving my body in the outdoors, studying artists, thinkers and spiritual masters, making simple, conscious choices, gathering loving people around me and loving them as best I can. What's yours?
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